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3’s a Crowd

So, I need help!

I have been dating this guy for over 10 months now and the chemistry is  great and we found ourselves deeply in love early into our time  together. We both love each other dearly, deeply, immensely… But he  wants our relationship to be open. He was upfront about this so it’s not  like he twisted my arm. I have never been in one but because I really  liked him (in the beginning) I thought I’d be open about and see if it  something that I could do. He wanted this status because he doesn’t like  to feel “boxed in” or “tied to” just one person. He claims that  encounters would just be a fuck – nothing more. He is on several  websites but hasn’t had much luck. He introduced me to the idea of  3somes/4somes, swapping.. and again, I wanted to be open so i tried it.  Not my thing. To cut to the chase, I am at the point where I fully  realizing that this behavior is not for me and he has clearly said he  will not be exclusive with me. He argues that he loves me and that doing  these things won’t change
things. He feels that I am being selfish and greedy for wanting more than what he can offer.
What is your take on this?

-Trinity

Dear Trinity,

Open relationships aren’t for everyone. And some argue that it dilutes any trust or bonds two people share. It’s really between the couple in my opinion and if there’s a break in communication then it needs to be stressed what you want. Don’t stay in a situation that will make you unhappy. And if a guy is telling you he doesn’t want to be tied down to one woman, then he doesn’t want a relationship. He just wants to fuck around. And there’s nothing wrong with that but you and him should be honest about what you both want. Don’t be afraid to walk away. I think he’s being greedy and selfish for not respecting your position. And if he’s unwilling to bend, then he’s immature and not worth your time.

If you really wanna keep him, tell him that it can be open but under your rules. This can include only having 3somes or more if both of you are present (as opposed to him being able to sleep with anyone he pleases) or you can do the coup de grace and tell him your needs aren’t met and that you want a MMF 3some. In addition, tell him that it’d really get you off if you saw him take it up the ass from another guy. This could drive a guy to be so stubborn as to end this whole open relationship mumbo jumbo. But be aware that this could backfire. If he says he’s more than willing, or is even excited about that prospect, congratulations. You’re dating a gay man.

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Categories: advice Tags: ,
  1. August 2, 2010 at 07:41

    Great advice!

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