Posts Tagged ‘distance’

Stay or Follow?

My bf and I are splitting up cause he’s getting a job 1,000 miles away. Should I follow him or stay and make my own life here without him.

We’ve been together for a year (and have been living together for 4 months).

Any advice?


Dear Mark,

Hi there and thank you for being the first to ask a question and break the ice. I won’t BS you and go straight for the truth: stay where you are.  I’m assuming you’re a young guy. And after being with someone for only a year, that’s way too soon to make a 1,000 mile move. This isn’t like moving from New York City to Hoboken. It’s more like moving from New York to Independence, Missouri and do you really want to live in Independence? I thought not.  You have your whole life ahead of you and there are plenty of other guys out there in a ten mile radius that are ready to date. And if you’re old? Why change your lifestyle now for someone after a year? Do you even know what sort of toothpaste he likes? It’s better to end it now as friends than move 1,000 miles and end up resenting him. Remember, we’re also in a recession. Can you be guaranteed to find work or something to occupy your time upon moving? The last thing I want to hear is how you smothered your boyfriend with a pillow in his sleep because you gave up your dreams and hopes to be with him.

So stay where you are and remain friends. It’s better that way.

Fun fact: international students who bring their spouses with them to study abroad have higher rates of divorce than their single or domestic student counterparts.

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